She works hard and can’t keep quiet about injustices. Superstar Loreen tells Amelia about how she confronts both Muslim relatives and Belarusian dictators, and why she would like to have a wedding party – but without getting married. Having children is also not something that is obvious to her. “Some people think that the meaning or purpose of life is to have children, but I don’t agree with that. I have seen myself the downsides since I grew up.”, she says.
If you google the definition of the Ayurvedic body and soul type “pitta”, it says: The element of fire and water means that Pitta people have a passionate, energetic and intense character. They are sharp-sighted, perfectionist, strong-willed and dominant.
Furthermore, you can read that pitta people are workaholics, control freaks, have a good business sense and high metabolism.
Loreen Talhaoui is a pitta person and explains that this is why she easily gets so hot in several of the garments she tries on for Amelia’s photoshoot.
– I may be spiritual and interested in the spiritual. But there is an entrepreneurial side in me too. What many don’t know about me is that I’m a tough businesswoman. I’ve had to learn it the hard way.
Does your strong integrity clash with the pressure to be commercial?
– You don’t have to exclude the other. You also need an understanding of the commercial. Like now, during this photoshoot for Amelia. I understand that you are selling something. Then it doesn’t work that I float in and am indie, she says.
– I go differently deeply creatively depending on the context and platform. Nothing is a game for me, but I try to be genuine in all situations. Even in music, there is an understanding of the commercial. But we occasionally have discussions about what it is that sells.
Uncompromisingness has contributed to that
The uncompromisingness and unwillingness to be placed in special compartments has at times made up for it for Loreen. She describes the period in Idol with the words “enormous friction”. Earlier, she kept singing to herself, she was a shy girl who locked herself in the bathroom at home, turned off the light and sang. Younger sister Markiz signed Loreen to the TV show.
– I didn’t know how a microphone worked and panicked over making mistakes. There was a jury that would judge me and an audience that listened. If you are a receptive emotional kid like I am… I was completely lost and confused.
LOREEN
Name: Lorine Zineb Nora Talhaoui.
Age: 37.
Family: Mother Choumicha, six younger siblings.
Lives: In an apartment in Stockholm and a house on Gotland.
Does: Is an artist, creator and actor.
Current: With the single Sötvattentårar.
Loreen finishes in fourth place in Idol, and the years after that she devotes to stay abroad, where she learns the craft in film and music production, something she gets to use later in her own artistry.
The conviction that she would follow her inner voice (and what a voice!) Led her to the historic victory of Euphoria. You probably know that the song was first offered to Danny Saucedo (who declined) and then Loreen was asked.
But she wanted to do it her way. Although today we have a hard time imagining this suggestive world hit in any other way than the way Loreen chose to interpret it, it must be remembered that the conservative Mellodifestivalen establishment was about to drop its chin when Loreen presented her vision with the siren in the beginning, the barefoot performance and the tai chi-inspired dance.
– With Euphoria, it was the first time I listened to my gut feeling. It taught me to respect and follow my intuition really hard. If you do it fully, there is often a certain doubt.
What did you hesitate about?
– I thought that this may fail, I might be way off? There were so many strong forces around me. Then I received confirmation that my intuition was correct. When I stood on the podium in the Globe and had won and looked out over the sea of people… The universe was with me! There was really a connection between me and the audience, we were in sync. Thank you, life, for that confirmation!
How do you react today if you are at a party or event and Euphoria is played? Do you go and hide on the mug or do you stand and do the Euphoria dance?
– It’s a little different, depending what kind of event and how well I know those who are there. I’m probably a little embarrassed and it’s possible that I run to the bathroom and wait until the song is finished. But it can also happen that the others want me to do the Euphoria dance… haha!
Raised with a single mother and six siblings
The photoshooting with Loreen takes a huge amount of time because the photographer gets the feeling and wants to take as many pictures as possible. There are no margins to pause for lunch and the only thing to eat is trans fat-rich (but nutrient-poor) snacks that are served to keep blood sugar levels intact.
Loreen, who needs to deliver most of all, stays focused, laughs and jokes with the team, eats some nuts and a sandwich, demands no breaks and politely drinks up her coffee (which then turns out to have cooled down).
– Devotion has always been there. Giving up is not an option for me. I’m not afraid of pain. I may be in pain and accept it, but don’t give up.
Loreen toured non-stop for four years after the Eurovision victory in Baku. When it was most intense, she could have around 40 booked interviews per day. The high work ethic that Loreen possesses can be explained by growing up as the eldest of six siblings, with a mother who became single at a young age.
– I have seen my mother fight for us in a way that… She went on her knees, but didn’t give up. What was the alternative? In our family, we had to help each other. It leaves no one behind. If you only have one parent, you don’t revolt, but become more humble.
“Giving up is not an option for me. I’m not afraid of pain. I may be in pain and accept it, but don’t give up.”
Loreen’s parents divorced when she was six years old and then the mother moved to Västerås to raise her six children alone. Much later, the mother met a new man, who already had a child, and had a child with him. When Loreen was 13, her father passed away.
– Mom has taught me that there are no limits to creativity. My questioning side definitely comes from her. She’s a real tough person! Those who think I am harsh, that is – she is a hundred trips worse than me – my mother has zero respect for authorities. Zero.
LOREEN’S TIMELINE
1983: October 16, Lorine Zineb Nora Talhaoui is born at Danderyd Hospital.
1989: The parents divorce when Loreen is six years old and the mother moves to Västerås with the children.
2004: Participates in Idol, where she comes in fourth place.
2011: Performs at the Melodifestivalen for the first time with the song My heart is refusing me, with which she reaches the Second Chance.
2012: Competes again in Mello with Euphoria which goes straight to the final. She wins the Melodifestivalen and later also in Eurovision. Euphoria becomes a world hit. That same year, she releases her debut album Heal.
2014: Releases Paper light and the year after I’m in it with you.
2017: Participates in the Melodifestivalen with the contribution Statements where she comes to Second Chance.
2017: Releases the EP Nude and the album Ride.
2020: Participates in Så mycket bättre on TV4 and sings for the first time in Swedish.
2021: Releases the single Sötvattentårar. Plays the role of Moroccan mother to John-John in the remake of Vinterviken which is released on Netflix.
It’s a challenge to get Loreen to follow predetermined poses during the shoot. When other celebrities or photo models sit still, smile to order and look straight into the camera, she ends up in a kind of groove, throws with her head and hair, moves in martial arts-like movements, closes her eyes and grimaces.
Even in the rest of her life, she is in constant motion and development, which she believes can be explained by the fact that she is descended from a nomadic people. Loreen has lived in Marseille, Paris, New York, Norway, Florida, but loves Sweden. Big cities do not attract her at all, she prefers to seek out nature.
– I have traveled a lot at work and also moved around. As a nomad, you can’t always land where you want. I haven’t done that either. But sometimes you need a fixed point.
What is your fixed point today?
– I love my house on Gotland! It is so cozy there, basic and rustic. On Gotland, I wind down and live rural life, fix the house, ride a tractor, grow and drive motocross in the woods. I also have a doggy there.
Loreen has become a kind of front figure for bisexuality after statements that she has not closed the door to love women.
“I think most of us are bisexual, but we may never get the chance to explore more sides”
– Sexually, I am attracted to the opposite sex. I haven’t been in a long relationship with a woman, but when I have felt attention that way, it hasn’t been scary, I have only felt love.
– I want to be completely open and I don’t like to place emotions in different compartments. You fall in love with individuals and not gender, right? I think most of us are bisexual, but we may never get the chance to explore more sides?
How do you think about marriage?
– I like the idea of celebrating love, the party itself. We should celebrate love more often! What I don’t sync with is the promise that you will be there for the rest of your life. What if we evolve organically in different directions? Many people feel pressured to be in a certain way when they are married, it can kill love.
– I have divided feelings about marriage, because I’ve been in relationships where one partner has had this classic need in a relationship and it has died out.
Can you tell more what you mean?
– It is important that two people have their own lives and integrity, you shouldn’t own each other. For example, my partner is very concerned about his own space and uncomfortable standing in the public eye.
“There are few men dare to approach us strong women”
She laughs out loud when I ask if it was she who took the initiative for them to become a couple:
– It was 100 percent I who chose! Otherwise it wouldn’t have happened. I don’t have time to wait. There are few men dare to approach us strong women.
How do you reason about having children?
– Some people think that the meaning or purpose of life is to have children, but I don’t agree with that. I have seen myself the downsides through my upbringing. The presence you need with children is so fucking important. Children are good at adapting, but also very receptive.
She wonders whether it is possible to combine the very demanding creative process as an artist and performer with being a mother.
– Of course you can do both, but the main priority at that moment must be the child, because it can’t be without you. I see far too many who are not ready but still have children. I can definitely imagine becoming a mother, but there are many parameters that must be true: a deep love, wisdom, timing.
You often say that you are a seeker. What are you looking for?
– I am looking for purposes and patterns in my life. What is the bigger reason why people show up in my life, can we heal ourselves, who is God, what is love? I love it! It is part of my personal development, to be constantly self-critical, questioning and curious.
She carries spirituality with her from childhood
Loreen grew up in a family where people talked a lot about spirituality, the soul and life after death.
– Mother comes from a religious home. Today, when I know what Islam means, I can state that she is extremely liberal and spiritual in her own way.
Loreen’s aunts also have a feminist agenda and are liberal Muslims, but there are also sections of the family in Morocco who are more conservative.
– Some see me as the family’s black sheep. When I was seventeen I was in Morocco and was provoked that a thirteen-year-old girl dreamed of getting married, that was her life goal. The family encouraged this and wanted to arrange the wedding. I confronted the men and said what I thought in front of everyone, she says.
– The thirteen-year-old was angry because I “sabotaged” her and brought shame and guilt on the family. But her little sister listened with wide eyes and then demanded to be allowed to study, so we helped to finance her studies. The Arab world in general is changing a lot now, but things are slow.
“Men who brag about themselves provoke me enormously”
In addition to questioning a strong patriarchy, Loreen has taken great risks in standing up to dictatorships and injustices in Azerbaijan, Afghanistan and Belarus. She has been persecuted, intercepted and threatened.
Most dangerous was her stay in Belarus, where she was booked by mistake. She openly defied dictator Lukashenko when she refused to ride in his car for propaganda purposes.
– I’m used to initiating provocations. But there I was scared. In retrospect, I realized that I risked the team’s safety, which I am not proud of. But men who brag about themselves provoke me enormously.
The fee for the gig was donated by Loreen to an organization in Belarus that works for human rights “because it was the only right thing to do”.
Loreen points to the abundant hair growth under her arms as she puts on a sweater and jokes: “Sometimes I think God had a hard time deciding if I should become a man or a woman!” She wears her own boots from the exclusive, spot-on brand Vetements.
– It’s lucky that I don’t shop so often, because it often gets expensive! I go into fancy shops in Ibiza and then get a shock when I stand at the checkout and have to pay.
The worst was in Bulgaria, when Loreen’s luggage had not turned up and she needed stage clothes for Saturday night’s gig. The project manager steered this up and made a few calls.
– When the fancy clothing store picked us up with a limousine, I understood that it would be expensive. They offered champagne and had opened the store with cool indie brands just for my sake. No garments had price tags.
“It’s lucky that I don’t shop so often, because it often gets expensive”
– I tried to make an estimate of what it would land on and bought only two pieces and a pair of shoes. Thought the shoes would cost a maximum of 6,000 kronor. But the boots from Vetements alone cost SEK 25,000! Haha… Though I love them.
Loreen jokes a lot and jokes that she often makes a fool of herself and is “just as clumsy as Bridget Jones”. But she switches to minor just as quickly. Her clear mental presence in both of these camps indicates a sharp intellect and a deep self-insight. Some of the lyrics to Loreen’s song Sötvattentårar say:
“I pretend to be strong and brave but I just want to be weak when no one’s watching.”
“Hard to dare to feel. Way too tired to sleep. It will get better. Because it’s just freshwater tears.”
– I have been bullied emo-kid and was timid and shy as a child. Actually, I’m a pretty positive and happy person, but then I end up in a trance, and then it’s a lot about pain. With all due respect to fame, I felt it didn’t fill me. If you are a thinker like me, I need something more, she says.
– Ever since I was a child, I have questioned norms. Of my siblings, only I have set off on 30 days of meditation, or chosen solitude in periods because it is interesting.
How has the Swedish “jantelagen” affected you?
– Jantelagen stops our dreams, longing, fantasies, creativity. The middle ground and the gray zone that many lean towards smells like jantles and it destroys us. There is enough space for everyone to be exactly as they want.
The words on Loreen’s body
Diversity: Inclusion and diversity is one of my main goals with the music that I am releasing now. The friction in society has created a good platform for creativity, that you and I with our forums can influence and develop.
Nomad: Because my people, the Berbers, are a nomadic people from the Atlas Mountains, the longing for movement is in my DNA.
Hope: It is important that you have the right perspective on your problems and see hope and light instead of a half-empty glass. I talked a lot about hope with Hans Rosling, who I got to know during our work with the Afghanistan Committee. He said that hope is biological, that people are always striving for improvement and that the world looks much better today than it did 50 years ago.
Free: My favorite expression! Freedom is the same thing as creativity and playfulness.
The Yaz symbol: This letter is called “yaz” and is a kind of symbol / logo for the Berbers, or amazigh, as the people are also called. Amazigh means “free men”.
Loreen about …
Touring after the Eurovision victory:
– It was definitely tiring. Especially the times when I got very difficult messages just before a gig. Like hearing a close friend get cancer, just before I sing. But with the results in hand, it has often been best to go out and channel this by emptying myself on stage.
Speaking several languages:
– I mix in English when I speak because I grew up in a multicultural home. Swedish, Arabic, Berber, Spanish, French, and then came my mother’s friend Susannah from Kenya, who spoke better English than my mother. It was a mishmash of all languages!
Her stage fright:
– The only way to make the fear disappear is to do what you are afraid of and not choose the easy track to bang. I chose not to accept the fear. It’s about a fear of being judged. But when you give as much of yourself as you can, then something happens. That realization made the token fall down for me.
Mother’s support:
– Mom knows my intuition so well and cried with happiness when I won the Melodifestivalen. She sees when I compromise and doesn’t like it at all. She has seen my struggle to follow my own path.
• Source: https://www.expressen.se/amelia/relationer/loreen-jag-har-blivit-forfoljd-avlyssnad-och-hotad/
• Translation: via Google Translate, the translation may not be completely accurate