GOTLAND. Off-season. Somewhere in the deep forest she finds her peace. Where the sounds of the sea speak perfectly with the melody of the wind, nature composes its own frequency of what she, right at this moment, needs. The walk down to the sea is often long. And longing. Once there, her eyelids are allowed to fall, her breathing becomes deeper, her mind gets clearer.
STOCKHOLM. Performance day one, filming day two, fight scene day tree, interview day four. Zoom meeting at 1pm, writing session at 2pm, script reading at 3pm, “yes, let’s do that synth” at 4pm. ln her creative zone nothing exists but creativity itself and there, she reaches a focus that she has carried with her since she was a child. And still nurtures with great care.

It’s like Loreen exists in two modes. One where her social side makes the earth spin and another where her main company is herself. The two sides belong together, work in symbiosis, allow each other to take their space, because they know they liberate one another. Currently, the schedule has zero empty gaps. After having interpreted other artists during the summer’s filming of Så mycket bättre, nerve-wracking song releases are on the agenda within the following months. Every other day is spent on film set since she’s doing her acting debut in the remaking of the 90’s movie-classic Vinterviken and at the same time she finds herself in the middle of creating a new and long-awaited album. There’s a lot on her plate, to say the least.
– When I create, I have to be present. It’s like my creativity comes from the same core. While I love being around others, I need my alone time for balance and to not lose my footing. Without time for myself, I feel myself closing up. I don’t get the chance to feel what’s in here, says Loreen and places her hand on her heart.

SANCTUARY

Many of us know fragments of her history: in 2004 the first Swedish season of Idol is being aired and the 20-year-old Lorén Talhaoui takes the jury by storm when she starts singing the Alicia Keys hit If Ain’t Got You. She ends up on fourth place in the competition, and then disappears from the music scene for years. Those years are spent both in Sweden (where she produces TV programs to support her music) and in the US (where music is being written, recorded and developed), and in 2011 she appears on the Melodifestivalen stage, the Swedish contest to appoint the representative for the Eurovision Song Contest, in bright red lipstick and straight bangs. My Heart Is Refusing Me becomes one of that year’s most beloved songs and her powerful voice is being played frequently on the radio until the next bomb hits – Euphoria. The song qualifies from the first competition in Växjo directly to Globen and Stockholm, then to Azerbaijan’s Baku to later on get played all over the world. When the phrase “Twelve points go to…” repeatedly ends with a resounding “Sweden!” and everyone in their couches are screaming of excitement, a feeling of being in the middle of a historical moment bubbles-up. Euphoria will turn into a movement unlike anything Eurovision has ever seen. And in the epicenter? There’s Loreen.
Several years earlier, the big voice is most often heard in dark rooms. As a child, that’s where she would find herself, her own place, her own space.
– What I loved the most was to stand in dark rooms with great acoustics – churches, tunnels, metro stations. When the ceiling is so high that your vocals echo. I sang, and it became my refuge. If I had time to spare, I locked myself in the bathroom and I would sing, sing and sing for hours. I was never interested in sharing it with anyone else.
It’s not until Loreen goes to high school and studies science that a shift takes place. She’s still at school even though everyone’s already at home. She sings while walking passed the scribbled lockers with poorly locked padlocks and when she least suspects that someone hears her, she spots her music teacher peeking out through a doorway. In American-broken Swedish, she says with rounded r’s: “It’s a shame you don’t share what you have. Maybe that’s what you’re meant to be doing – share”.
– She planted a seed in me. It was a thought I hadn’t dared to think before, and after that it only took a few months before the Idol carousel started.
The fact that music becomes her refuge is obvious when she looks back. Loreen grows up as the oldest of six and her mother is only 14 years old when she arrives to Sweden. Two years later, Loreen is born. Without family or relatives to rely on, her mother establishes a life to her best ability at the same time as Loreen is forced to grow up quickly and shoulder a big responsibility, both for herself but also for her siblings. If her mother doesn’t have time to pick up from kindergarten, Loreen does it. If her mother cleans, Loreen goes grocery shopping. Singing becomes her own space, a place where only she and the sounds that are formed within her exist. She herself believes that a strong empathy is the far most important thing she got from her childhood years.
– We lived on the subsistence minimum. I noticed at school that I was different – l looked different and I didn’t talk like everyone else. I was early on very mature. Not having a normal childhood has made me empathetic in a completely different way and I see people with new eyes. Parts of my upbringing are in a way fragments of pain, but the brilliant thing about pain is that it leads to something new. Pain is the key to freedom, Loreen says as she reaches arms out and continues; I’m very grateful for my childhood, and I really mean that. It made me who I am today.

“LIFE WANTS ME TO DO THIS”

The experiences and feelings she encountered in her childhood have influenced her years of creating. This was where the foundation of her genuine expression was unconsciously being shaped.
– Everything I create must have a deeper meaning for me and it’s basically about being able to proclaim freedom. That’s just the way things have ended up. Every appearance I’ve made, every song I’ve written – I can’t name one thing I’ve have done that didn’t have a deeper meaning.
That’s why Loreen is confused when the request for a supporting role in Netflix’s major venture Vinterviken lands on her doorstep. The film, that was first released back in 1996 and is based on Mats Wahl’s book of the same name, is about John-John – a young boy who lives in a suburb south of Stockholm together with his mother. The movie portraits how John-John is forced to face racism and criminality as he starts getting feelings for Elisabeth who lives in the upper-class neighborhood across Vinterviken, and the complications arise. Loreen is asked to play John-John’s mother, who in the ’96 version is Swedish. The production team, on the other hand, has something else in mind. The idea is that the main character’s mother should instead have a foreign background, more specifically with roots from Morocco.
– When I get to hear that I’m supposed to play a Moroccan, young mother, I freeze. When they tell me about John-John’s life, where all he has is his mother, I immediately understand – that’s my life. The woman they want me to portray is my mother. Life wants me to do this. That’s why I took the role. I want to portray a young Moroccan mother in a right, inclusive way.
This is your first drama movie, right?
– Exactly. I did a thing with Will Ferrell, but I mean…
Right, the Eurovision movie on Netflix?
– I don’t want to talk about it! Loreen laughs and continues: Delete that! I’m really not a comedian! But since I received a personal letter from Ferrell and I’m a big fan and he’s apparently a big fan of me, I just couldn’t say no. But me and comedy…
Please tell us!
– I think I’m too serious when I enter my creative zone. Music is one of the strongest tools and I got to experience that early on in Morocco. They don’t even talk about music; they talk about frequencies. If you start a heavy beat, it can help you let go of old traumas. With that being said, I want to point out that I am not weird. Many say “Loreen, you are so weird and so lovely”. No! she laughs and repeats with a distinctive pause after each word: I. Am. Not. Weird. Write that down! That’s how you use music where I’m from. And to answer your question: Yes, Vinterviken is my first drama and it’s so much fun. It’s extreme emotions all over.

Extreme emotions, as well as extreme willpower, is something that has followed Loreen’s family for generations. With roots in Morocco, specifically from the Berber culture, stories about Berber are referred to as the native people of North Africa and they name themselves with the beautiful word amazigh, which means free people, because they had to fight for their freedom. Loreen says the word barbarian originates from the word berber for the same reason.
– We are warriors, inside and out. My great-grandmother’s husband was killed in battle. She was incredibly in love with him, they had two children together, and my great-grandmother knew that if she stayed in the same city, she would have to remarry. Women were not allowed to support themselves. She didn’t accept her fate, so she took her children, their horse and some necessities, dressed as a man in a turban and walked from Morocco to Tunisia. It took days, maybe weeks. For years she and her two children lived with a male relative who gave my great-grandmother money to open up a small kiosk where she then worked day and night. They say my great-grandmother was very beautiful, so until she grew old, she hid her beauty for her own sake and for her children’s. All her life, until her passing, she wore male clothes. The cane, the caftan, the turban. I have a picture at home where she stands proudly in all her glory. It’s pretty badass! My mother has inherited the same strength.
How would you describe your mother?
– All women on my mother’s side are troopers. They’re so strong and they go their own way, against all odds. Even if the circumstances are inexistent: they’ll still do it. My mother is one of the strongest women I know. There’s no one like her. She came from a poor village as a 14-year-old, had me in Sweden when she was 16 – how do you even manage such a thing? I think you have to be strong in both head and heart and my mother doesn’t put out with any bullshit. She’s the biggest humanist and feminist I’ve ever met, and that’s not just me talking, just look at her life, says Loreen and leans closer to the recording microphone before she exclaims: I love you, mom!
Loreen’s legacy is constantly present in her life. In the music, in the clothes she wears, in her way of being. During the photo shoot with Plaza Kvinna, she asks the makeup artist to place stones in a line along the chin, triangles at the cheeks and creates rhinestone rain over the eyelids, as a tribute to how Berber women usually tattoo their bodies and faces. At the same time, the artist believes that her strong descent sometimes has made it tough, since she’s had to experience the fear that the music industry holds for strong women. A woman with a clear idea is easily overlooked and defined as difficult when at the same time, a man with a similar approach is immediately seen as a visionary. Loreen has many times over the years been given suggestions on how she should use her body more – example after example on how she can portray the man’s image of the typical woman and accent her romantic side.
– That always has the opposite effect on me. Since I’m sensitive when it comes to everything I create, it physically hurts to work against my own philosophy. It takes the fun out of it. Obviously, I have a romantic side, but I’m much more than that and to take on that fight has been a huge challenge where I’ve sometimes been seen as a diva. It’s something that’s so far from who I really am. I’m not some girl who grew up getting everything served on a silver platter. Everything I have today, I created myself. I’m human, I’m real. I’m a woman of the people.

” We are warriors, inside and out “

A MOVEMENT

With the unquestionable Euphoria-win, Loreen becomes one with the Swedish people. Just a few months later, during that record rain of twelve’s that were handed out in the final, she becomes the Eurovision world’s goddess.
– Euphoria was something out of the ordinary. It was far more than just a song; it was a movement.
Before the trip to Baku and Azerbaijan, where the competition was to be held, Loreen receives heartbreaking news. In order to showcase the capital from its best side, the president has evicted families from their homes and imprisoned protesters to create a fake city, a Eurovision-worthy arena and nice apartment buildings. Apartment buildings that actually are empty – besides ceiling lights that are being turned on and off to give the appearance of human activity. Since Eurovision is a competition free from political statements, Loreen can’t actively speak up and stand up for what she believes is right – or rather seriously wrong. Instead of leaning back, she leans in and reads through all the competition’s rules to find out how political she can be without being disqualified. She books meetings with civil rights movements that are actively working to free the imprisoned protesters and plans her free time in Baku in order to raise awareness of the issue in a way that keeps her in the competition. Loreen’s choice to question the country’s leaders is frequently discussed in media – but she comes far from unprepared when she decides to enter that sparkling arena.
– “So Loreen, what do you think about the situation in Azerbaijan?” a reporter asks me during the press conference and suddenly all cameras point at me. In addition, we’re streaming live. I look at Christer Bjorkman, who has repeatedly pointed out that I’m absolutely not allowed to speak about political issues if I want to remain in the competition. I gather my thoughts to my best abilities and coolly answer: “You know what? I’m sorry but I can’t talk about this here… But meet me outside in ten minutes and I’ll share my thoughts.” It naturally revealed where I stood on the matter. It’s far from easy for Loreen to enter the stage afterwards.
– To go to Azerbaijan and perform among glamour and luxury and at the same time be aware of what was sacrificed for my moment in the spotlight… No one else said anything. I looked around and what I saw was ego number one, ego number two, ego number three. When I pushed the boundaries the president, or rather the dictator, was far from happy. At times we couldn’t even leave the hotel we were staying because we were receiving threats.
What drives your activism?
– Injustice. This is where the empathy of my childhood is making itself heard. Think how much of a change one single person can make. I was no one special down there but I made a certain powerful man, up on his high horse, incredibly annoyed. One should not underestimate what one individual can do for someone else.

“I am power”

REBELLION

Apart from forming part of history, Euphoria also delivers a look that follows the same fate. The long black hair with a harshly cut bushy fringe is easy to remember over that green caftan, placed on a podium on a dimmed stage. Even though Loreen is proud of her performance at Europe’s largest music gathering, she remembers that its consequences were defining. Through the choreography and clothing, the image of Loreen was created as solemn, romantic, calm and spiritual. Before the album release of Ride a few years later, she decides to shave her hair off just because of that image – that she has much more to give. A change was needed.
– Euphoria only showed a fragment of what was actually there. I had just come out of a spiritual retreat where I had been meditating for thirty days. No wonder I was in this type of mode, says Loreen while gesturing the classic Euphoria choreography along with the associated facial expressions. She puts her hair back behind her ear before continuing: My true character is – I’m a Berber! I’m power. This turned out to be quite a contrast to what many thought I was after Euphoria.
The idea behind the new look doesn’t stop there. Loreen also experiences that the glass ceiling created by just being a woman, and thereby of what is considered feminine, needs to be broken once again. But it won’t be done painlessly.
– I stopped and realized that my hair doesn’t define me as a woman. I’m whoever I want to be, whenever I want to be. That’s freedom for me. I had to kill the image of myself to let something new emerge. It was a painful fresh start for both me and my audience but I’m sure things will fall into place when women are finding their power. We need to teach our daughters and sisters, strengthen their self-esteem, so that they know who they are and who they can become.
Why is the female image important to dissect?
Loreen stops for a moment. This is the first time she goes silent for a few seconds. She tilts her head and lets both ears and eyes rest on the Stockholm blur from outside of the window she’s sitting in. Then she speaks.
– I’m fascinated by women’s sexual energy. I come from a Muslim country and have seen the oppression of women since I was little, both outside and within my own family, where it was pointed out that if a woman chose not to wear a shawl and instead wear something more revealing, she only had “herself to blame“.
During my upbringing, the woman didn’t have the right to own her sexuality – she should rather hide herself and simply not be noticed. I’m a rebel against that. In everything I create, I want to prove to myself and to others that I own my sexuality. If I want to show my breasts, I will. The entire world may have an opinion about that, but I don’t belong to them. I belong to myself.
In her creative process, Loreen prefers to dress in dark color and 95 percent of her wardrobe appears to be night black garments in different textures and materials. Wide shoulders and sharp waists make her feel strong and the leather jacket is always within arm’s reach. Contrasts and underlying messages are things she’s specially drawn to and just like in all she’s creating, her look for a performance has carefully been analyzed. She repeatedly plays with and explore what society sees as male and female energy, and even though she prefers to dress in high-end at home, she likes to wear new upcoming designers when she’s on stage.
– To create something together that ultimately feels right for both me and the designer – I love that. I appreciate the free creativity where we get to create what we want. Because the The Law of Jante (a Swedish social norm of disapproval towards expressions of individuality and personal success), Loreen says, rolling her eyes before repeating the letters like staccato: L-A-W O-F J-A-N-T-E, it’s just a big underestimation of one’s power. I hate Jante. I stand for justice and equal treatment but not everyone is made the same way, right? Let people exist, and dress as they please.

A NEW ENERGY

Just as her look is created with great care, Loreen never compromises on the music she shares. After a long period of silence without any new releases, apart from the single Fiction Feels Good that was premiered on this year’s Melodifestivalen and was a mashup of three of her previous songs at the competition, new material is on the horizon. 2021 seems to become the music year á la Loreen. Currently she’s in the middle of the process of her upcoming album that is said to have a focus on diversity, with the woman as an advocate.
– In the songs you’ll find an activism and an awareness encouraging to take responsibility for oneself and one’s surroundings. The productions are simple but at the same time they have heavy beats, which feels exciting. I’m one hundred percent a synth nerd and that will definitely be noticed in a reminiscent, wonderful way. Some of my songs in Så mycket bättre have about the same tone as the music I’ll present next year.
Even though Gotland, according to herself, is at its best during off-season, she revisits the island in the middle of summer. Why? The success show Så mycket bättre. With a lineup with Swedish top names such as Silvana Imam, Markus Krunegard, Ana Diaz, Lisa Nilsson – and Loreen – the upcoming season is said to be one of the best.
– I am used to playing for big audiences, so to suddenly stand a few meters away from only eight people sitting at a dining room table and perform for them, was definitely something new.
At times, while creating the show, it’s nerve wracking (partly due to Loreen’s terrible poker face) to both present and receive interpretations of previous existing musical pieces.
– Whether they’re into your new version or not plays a bigger role than you want to admit. Once you stand there, there’s no going back. Since I’m an energy-person, I can easily feel if there’s disappointment in the room, but when I performed my songs, the only thing I felt was humble pride. When it comes to music, I can’t lie – if there’s something I don’t like, you’ll know. Without a doubt. I was incomprehensibly nervous about that.
So how did it go?!
– Good! Loreen replies laughing. I was incredibly grateful and proud and mostly felt “heeey I wrote that song!”. Only good energies.
Thoughts about energies and a dimension beyond the one we can see with naked eye is something Loreen is surrounded by already as a child.
– My grandfather said something to me before he died. He brought me out in the nature and said, “Loreen, your body is not yours, it belongs to the earth“. I didn’t listen too much, so he went and sat down next to a pile of dirt. He asked me to pound my palm against my chest to hear what sound it created, before doing exactly the same thing to the ground. The earth made the same sound. I grew up in a culture where spirituality isn’t something distant, and I still talk about energies because it’s a scientific concept – it exists in everything – and it’s not weird. I love quantum physics and honestly believe I would have been a scientist today if I hadn’t become an artist. I’m talking energy because components consist of energy. She continues:
– Science says that there’s no life after death and that there’s no meaning to why we’re here. To me, that’s pure stupidity. Look around and try to understand the complexity of how everything works, how we’re created and who you meet in your life. It’s too big to be a coincidence!

FLOURISH

The importance of who you’ll meet in life has made Loreen wanting to create her own space where creators can get together. After her own experiences of the male-dominated music industry she’s a part of, she wants to make it easier for new voices to get their true voice heard. When she looks into her future and sees beyond upcoming albums, TV programs and this spring’s premiere of Vinterviken, she’s determined on what she wants. Ideas that some would choose to call dreams, she chooses to see as goals to achieve.
– What I’m doing right now, I’ll be doing it until I die. Music is my calling. Something I clearly notice is that I’m able to spot the potential and authenticity of others and in the future, I wish to be the one who introduces new acts. Especially female acts. I want to create a platform, almost a safety net against the big bullies in the industry, and work creatively to see others flourish. It’ll almost be like I’d invite them to my house on Gotland among the wind and the waves-figuratively speaking. I can’t compromise with my alone time, can I? Those moments are my own.

 
Av Rebecca Jardsdotter
Fotograf Patrik Lindén
Stylist Sebastian Hammarberg
Makeup Jasmine Lundmark
Hår Khaddy Gassama/Swedish Hair Mafia
Fotoassistent Elli Hollendonner, Senait Imbaye
 

• Source: Transcription of the interview in English version of magazine Plaza Kvinna (Fall 2020) via Readly
• Original article: https://plazakvinna.com
• Magazine Screenshots: http://gallery.lovely-loreen.com/thumbnails.php?album=682
• Photoshoot: http://gallery.lovely-loreen.com/thumbnails.php?album=684
• Interview: by Rebecca Jardsdotter
Original text and photos are copyrighted to their rightful owners