She is back at the Melodifestivalen and wants to evoke emotions. Klick has met Eurovision winner Loreen who talks about everything from her love life to her great stage fright.
– To be on stage is bloody serious for me, says the singer.
Jack Russel dog Lilleman sniffs around in the photo studio before lying on the floor while waiting patiently while mother Lorine “Loreen” Talhaoui, 33, is made up for Klick’s photo shoot. The Eurovision winner is highly relevant as the last competing artist in this year’s Melodifestivalen and she takes a deep breath when I wonder how it feels.
– Now when you asked, I got a lump in my stomach. I’m really nervous! I’m always crazy nervous when I perform. I’m nervous about meeting the audience and how people will receive my performance.
Do you have a stage fright?
– Yes, I have stage fright.
How do you handle it?
– I accept that I have it and keep a meditative pace. I can not have any nervous energy around me before I go up on stage and I have to be alone for at least an hour to land in silence and go into what I have to do. Otherwise, my energy spreads in all directions.
The singer says that she ends up in an almost religious state when she then meets the audience.
– Something happens to me when I’m on stage. It’s like an out-of-body experience. I guess it’s because the nervousness is so obvious and then poof, it disappears and then I get total focus. Where I come from, my tribe, there are theories that one channels a higher energy that comes from a sacred place, she says.
– My friends always say: “Why do you have to take everything so seriously?” But being on stage is bloody serious for me, because I want to say something about what I do.
Loreen decided to take part in Sweden’s biggest music competition again just a few hours before the starting field was presented at a press conference at the end of November.
– It’s the toughest decision I’re made in my entire life. My ego says, “Why should I do this again? Will I fix it? And how will I feel when I go out?” But then there is another part of me that I want to call the activist who says “Loreen, you are a creator”. I think we creators have an opportunity and a responsibility, just like politicians, to try to create something that helps to make a difference for people. I have to follow my intuition, because my fear is controlled by the ego, and therefore I made the decision to join again, she says.
Loreen has written her Mello contribution “Statements” together with Anton Hård af Segerstad, Joy Deb and Linnea Deb and she emphasizes that the audience should not expect a new “Euphoria”.
– Now I’m euphorically pissed, “Euphoria”-Loreen has become Jeanne d’Arc, she says and laughs.
– My number is organic and meaty. I want it to feel human. The goal for the sake of my ego is to make a bold appearance, the non-ego hopes to arouse feelings and thoughts in the audience. I would not stand on the stage if I did not have something to convey that I felt was important.
What do you want to convey?
– The light in the tunnel. The song is a conversation with myself about what is happening in the world and what is happening inside me and I hope that others will recognize themselves. All change must start with ourselves, we need to look inward instead of saying that things that are happening are someone else’s fault.
Loreen made headlines when she was a intermission act in the Second Chance two years ago, together with the Ukrainian dance group Kazaky and performed her song “Paper Light” in bare upper body with only black tape over her breasts. The half-naked number became a huge talking point that trended on Twitter and it was precisely to create discussion she was looking for.
– It was a small blow for the woman. It was about questioning gender norms. I would have liked to have stood with my breasts in the air on stage if I had, because it should not be provocative to show my breasts as a woman when it is not when a man does it. I brought with me Kazaky who is a group of men who are extremely feminine, they look more feminine than I do, but what is masculine and what is feminine really? You choose for yourself, says Loreen and meets my gaze.
– It’s about self-respect and owning oneself. It should not be embarrassing to show your body. Standing up for human rights and everyone’s right to be themselves is important to Loreen, who believes that the commitment probably stems a lot from her background.
– I think the key to being able to feel with other people is that you have had a tough time yourself. I have seen pain, misery and struggle up close. In Morocco, I have both relatives who have a lot of money and I have relatives who are very poor and live on a few square meters. It’s hard but I try to help with money and I’m there as often as I can.
Loreen has Moroccan-Berber roots but was born in Stockholm. The father disappeared early from the picture and she grew up in Västerås together with her single mother and five small siblings.
– My mother was sixteen when she got me and I had to grow up early and take responsibility. I had no teenage revolt. There was no room for that.
At school, she usually kept to herself.
– I was much older than the other children and I had a hard time relating to them. The other children probably saw me as a coward. I preferred to sit alone and paint.
Was it loneliness of your choice or were you bullied?
– Both. There were times I wanted to join but because I was too different and my social codes were not like theirs I think the other kids were afraid of me. And I had the feelings on the outside so whoever said something shitty went on a plug. I did not accept that. That’s probably because I was a big sister and used to getting respect at home.
You fought?
– It happened that I fought in school, absolutely, if someone treated me badly. If someone said “hear your negro” I hit back and my Achilles heel was if someone talked badly about my mother. My mother was my best friend.
The music became a haven and when the classmates went to leisure, Loreen hurried home.
– Music has always been a way for me to get thoughts and frustrations out of me. I bought a crappy piano for my weekly allowance that I learned to play. I used to listen to my mother’s LP collection. I liked singers with real pipes and Celine Dion, Whitney Houston and Aretha Franklin were good teachers. I locked myself in the bathroom and sang because there was good acoustics there, my siblings were so angry with me because I locked the door and forgot the time, she says and laughs.
As a 19-year-old, she came fourth in the first season of “Idol” after she was signed up for the program by her little sister. In 2011 she made her debut at the Melodifestivalen with “My Heart Is Refusing Me” and the following year Loreen took home the victory both in the Swedish selection and in the Eurovision Song Contest.
– I get goosebumps when I think of the final in the Globe, it is a stronger memory than Baku. There were thousands of people in the audience and we were all united. It was a powerful feeling, she says.
“Euphoria” became a superhit that topped the charts all over Europe and Loreen says she still enjoys singing her winning song despite performing it on countless stages around the world.
– Honestly, I do not get tired of “Euphoria”. It’s something that happens in me when I sing that song, she says.
How have you changed in the last five years?
– I have become more hard-skinned and that is positive. The music industry is male-dominated and if we women are to take for granted, we really have to roll up our sleeves. A woman is often perceived as difficult if she has a vision and I don’t buy that. I would rather take a stamp of approval than compromise with my artistry.
How eager are you to win the Melodifestivalen again?
– I do not even think about it. Am I a competitive person? Yes, I am a competitive person in the way that I compete with myself. But I would go under emotionally if I had any hopes of winning. Then I would totally lose focus.
How is love then? Are you with someone?
– I am a modern woman, I have my most important relationship with my job!
Loreen smiles and is silent for a moment.
– I love to be loved but I’m not tied to anyone in the classic way right now so no, I’m not with anyone. But I have a functional sex life. Sex is important for you to feel good.
You have said that you do not fall in love with a gender but with a person?
– True love is not gender based. I have loved both men and women. Absolutely.
It’s time for shooting and when it’s time for a change of clothes, Loreen shamelessly pulls off her yellow shirt dress and stands naked in the middle of the photo studio.
– Why should I hide? I have no inhibitions, she says and laughs.
LOREEN ABOUT…
… her song “Statements”:
– It has a slightly old sound. The lyrics are mostly about myself but what I am trying to convey is that we all need to reflect on ourselves instead of blaming things that happen in the world on others.
… her participation in “Idol”:
– It was good for me to be part of “Idol”. I had no idea what it meant to be public before and afterwards I knew which way I wanted to go, that I wanted to learn how to work in the studio and write my own songs.
… her new music:
– There will be a mini album this spring and the music sounds quite dirty and old. It’s a little Woodstock over my new songs.
… routines before she goes on stage:
– I have to be alone for at least an hour. Everyone is going out of my lodge and I have incense and light, light is very important because it calms me down. And preferably lots of pink lil jor. I feel good about it.
… where she goes when she’s free:
– I live in two places if I’m not in Stockholm. If I have a week off, I’m in Iceland and if I have a weekend off, I go to my place on Gotland. The energy on Gotland is fantastic and it is the same in Iceland. There I fill my batteries.
3 MELLO FAVORITES
“WATERLOO” by Abba (won Eurovision 1974). “I beg them and they had nice clothes too.”
“IF I WERE SORRY” by Frans (won Swedish competition in 2016) “Frans is absolutely fantastic and he has a nice aura.”
“I AM FREE (MANNE LEAM FRIJJE)” by Jon Henrik Fjällgren (came second in the final 2015) “He represents the Sami culture in a nice way and helps to increase awareness of our native population”.
• Source: https://www.aftonbladet.se/nojesbladet/melodifestivalen/a/noy5Q/loreen-talhaoui-jag-har-alskat-bade-man-och-kvinnor
• Scans: http://gallery.lovely-loreen.com/thumbnails.php?album=707
• Photogallery: http://gallery.lovely-loreen.com/thumbnails.php?album=582
• Translation: via Google Translate, the translation may not be completely accurate